Was out with N the other day. Saw a guy wearing matching shirt and shorts of a particular light blue colour. I had no problem with the shirt, just that his shorts was a bit distracting. A little too short for my taste and looked pretty... *shudders* Yah, so...
Didn't hesitate a second to tell N what I saw. I honestly thought she would laugh and agree with me. Instead, I was given a lecture about criticizing people. Then I shot her that look. Because she does it sometimes to people, including me. N just laughed and said "Yah, it took me a second to realize... But it's different. I do it because it's helping them to change. You do it with the intention to criticize."
Yup, that's right. She's right...
I need N in my life. Can't lose this siaocharbor laopo. But...
On another note, my maid told me today it's been 3 weeks since my quarrel with my mom and we still haven't spoken to each other. I don't think it has been that long. Or has work diminished my sense of time, because, as far as I remember, I thought it was a week ago.
She called me fat, and I said I'd kill her in her sleep, as a joke, but the vehement feeling still lingers. Okay get this, I don't care if friends or colleagues call me fat, but coming from my own mother, that's just not okay. Plus, she always annoys me with her negativity.
Yah, I get it, you're 60, you have diabetes, high blood pressure and you're still working. But that's not the example you should set for your children and also, you're affecting all of us. And I've tried to persuade her to be more positive. I told her things like "Hey Ma, today's vegetables the maid cooked are nice, have some," And she would say a straight no and continue eating her pizza. Or whatever she brought home. She ignores the healthy food and goes straight for the junk food. No fish, no meat, no veggie, only salted veggie/egg with porridge. She doesn't even drink the soup, that is occasionally nice.
I want to love her but I just wish she was a little more nicer with her words and be a more of a role model to her children. Sometimes children see the worst in their parents and they make promises to themselves to never be like them in the future. But now I'm behaving like her, stubborn, childish and petty.
This is just absurd la. I need to talk to Vanessa soon.
Funny thing is I never met Vanessa for a long time, but she gives excellent perspectives and advices.
I need to stop typing. I was typing a few things that I don't like, then I backtracked.
Issues everywhere. How I can deal with them? I don't know if I can do this...
No comments:
Post a Comment