A Day in a Life

A Day in a Life

I'm sitting alone by myself at the dining table having my lunch. Unlike this morning, when I was woken up by a drilling sound above my elder sister's apartment, it was a pretty silent afternoon back at home. I envy Zheng Qian like how he envied me. He prefers the sound of silence while I enjoy the hustle and bustle of a city. He is a light sleeper while vehicle's horns and engines revving up all serve as a lullaby to me.

Taxi Driver drove us back to Simei in the morning. This driver wasn't a Chinese. I couldn't recognise if he was Hindi or Muslim but I know for sure, he is afraid of dog bites. Chloe was nesting right in my bag. Somehow she has tears flowing down her furry face. Either she's sad because she's going back to "boot camp" or she's afraid of the driver. Well, did I mention she is a racist?

Besides that, Taxi Driver was really friendly. He reminisced the good times when kids his age used to play with spiders, marbles and fishing. Now, it's all about Playstation, XBox, Nintendo DS and bullshit. He loves the quiet ambience and tranquility of his house back in Sembawang. After work, he will go to Cheers or 7-Eleven to buy 2 bottles of alcohol. Then he'll chill out outside his apartment drinking while fusing with the cool, serene environment as one.

Heading out soon to get Chloe some canned food that she desires. Elder sister thought that Chloe would be scared of all the drilling and hammering so she brought her back too.

4 hours later.

Blogging got stalled. Dad wanted to fix new lights into this room. Turned on the TV and Planet Cook was on "Okto" but I fell asleep eventually til I woke up from my slumber around 7pm. Realised I had forgotten to get Chloe her canned food and I berated myself for being lazy when I could buy it in the morning.

This is how my day went today. What about yours?

...

I wish I had that machine like in the movie "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind". I don't know. I just feel extremely tired trying to find my place in this world. I see pictures of people smiling widely into a camera, and you know what? They look beautiful in it. Beautiful in the sense that they are able to show others what they're like. Their faces, their hair, their body...is so nice even if they're fat or skinny. Because that is who they are.

Have you seen my face? It's like beyond description. It's so fucking out of place. Like you have images of these people: Agassi, Zhao De, Bi Xuan, Shaun, Elaine, Farhan, Su Juen, Xiang Chou blah blah blah...Then out pops my face, smiling widely with my teeth shown. My cheeks touches the frame of my spectacles...Hair's messy as hell and you go: Who the fuck is this fellow?!

Well, who the fuck am I? You there, the one reading. Tell me who the hell am I, please. Because I don't fucking know. I don't look like a normal person. I don't behave like a normal person. I don't like the things that normal people do. Even more important question, WHAT AM I?!

I want that machine to mind wipe me of my memories I had of the friends I have. I want to begin a new life with an identity that everybody recognises. I don't to look like a creepy fellow on Facebook. I don't people on MSN feeling like I'm some crazy stalker. I don't people to think that I'm an emo.

You tell me change, be more open up. But I don't know how to. I want to be myself but I can't find my place in this world. What's going to happen to me in poly? I don't know, but I wish someone could understand me better than the rest. All those hidden jealousy feelings are inside me, be it your skills, your awesome talking skills or even the ability to lead. I feel like shit within. I know I can never be like you guys. I try but I never succeed..

I get jealous when I see two of my close friends talking and laughing to each other and they don't include me in. I get jealous when I see my close friend talking to someone and laughing away with him. I can't stop having this feelings but once I have them, you definitely notice the change in me. I become more solemn and reserved. I take out my MP3 player and start blasting music in my ears. It's because I don't want to care about what you people do in front of me. I want to just forget what I saw and felt and the only way to momentarily subdue them is the music I listen to.

Lovers In Japan

Lovers In Japan

Bought Coldplay's newest album a few days back. Definitely a different sound and style from Radiohead's depressing and anxiety-driven music. Somehow, I admire British bands more than American bands. Coldplay and Radiohead have been evolving their music over time, creating new sounds, infusing electronics with their instruments. Plenty of emotions in their music. I love how bands come up with something new and fresh and British bands doesn't disappoint.

Just look at All-American Rejects. It Ends Tonight was an awesome song, but the newest album didn't click with me. However, Coldplay has Yellow, Speed of Sound and now Viva La Vida. Spanning over three albums, the songs pushes different kinds of boundaries but Coldplay has imprinted their signature on every song and that makes it stand out from the rest of the bands.

Lovers In Japan left something on me. From it's opening of soothing melody and then breaking out into jumpy piano-driven rhythm, I fell in love with it's beautiful arrangement. It really makes me imagine, a foreign, strained couple arrives in Toyko airport, which showcases the beginning long notes. They are new to the surrounding, making it their first time in Japan. Not knowing the language and culture, they hopped into a cab, hoping in the craziness of it all, they could find what they were missing in their relationship. Thus, the piano kicks in with its rhythmic pattern.

Beautiful song. It just makes me wonder about Love.

What does this tell us about Love?

Love can be sweet, it can be bitter too. It gives your heart hope and joy and sometimes it can cause your heart to be trampled on. It is an undescribable feeling that only when you feel it, you know it's love. Love can be for anything. Your family, friends, pets, teachers, mentors or even people you don't even know. But as far as I know, love is a complicated emotion. There are even times where you don't know you're smitten but soon realises it at the 11th hour.

Sometimes you don't even know why you love him but you just do. You love the sweet scent of her hair. You drool over his muscles. You admire her courage to stand up for herself. You like his charming personality. You find it cute when she lowers her head and look at you coyly. There are MILLION of reasons why you're even in love with a person...

Lovers In Japan makes me want to write a book or a short novel.

Haha...I know you love watching romance movies. Don't look around, yeah it's you. All those times when I'm out with you in a CD shop, you always show me a romanic film. I know you like Music and Lyrics and Phantom of the Opera. *Grins* yup...Tell you what, if I get the chance to direct movies, I'll make a romance film dedicated to YOU because you're special to me. Not that you're the one for me but..you know..=)

Lovers In Japan - Coldplay

2+2=5

2+2=5

I went to PRSS to visit the school band. Farhan also asked me to go so I obliged. There's a reason behind my laziness to go Band, but missing out last Friday's night practice made me want to make up for today's practice. So I ditched my planned schedule of going to Esplanade to watch performances and went to Band. As it turned out, a lot of alumnus returned. It was awesome seeing Johnathan and Hanif back..Haha, loads of trumpet players came back. Wan Ting and Rui Zhen came too which was to Su Juen's delight. Haha..*winks*

I think when I entered the band, everybody thought I just woke up from a sleep. Farhan and Ahmad was snickering away at the back when I approached them.

"Eh you just wake up ah boy?"

"No ah.."

But I had a short nap at home, where I dreamt that my phone was vibrating, signalling to me a message has been sent to me. And it really came true. I woke up with a dazed look on my face and reached for my phone.

All I can say is that this year Pasir Ris really have potential to clinch that Gold award. Haiz, but Sir every year also says the same thing. =/ And I thought we could get a Gold for 2007's SYF Competition. We got a Silver award. That feeling sucked. Thank God, my batch went to Genting and got a Gold award and Top Band award back. After failing at SYF, this was our well-deserved award and we left Pasir Ris Concert Band with our heads up high with pride.

Sometimes my heart skip a beat whenever I see you, it's not I'm in love with you or anything, just that seeing you is a such a scary experience and I try to not fill my head with any ideas because I don't want to commit suicide. I get sensitive easily whenever I see you guys laughing and having a good time. I don't know why. I actually do but I don't want to admit it. I'm an idiot. Please, Xing You, just shut up.

Fin

Francis de Pablo

Francis de Pablo

You want to know what's wrong with me now?

I feel as sick as a patient in a hospital who's not able to recover from his illness.

The fever keeps on coming, occasionally taking a step back to relieve me of my suffering and then coming back to taunt me again. The Panadol pills don't even seem to work.

Now I can never sleep or stay in a room with the air-conditioned turned on. Usually, I can withstand the shivering cold that the weather offers but my body is so weak that I shake uncontrollably when it's cold. My eating habits? I used to get hungry very easily and I tend to eat a lot. Now, I do still get hungry but I can't eat much. I had only half a bowl of rice. Even a Zinger Meal with regular fries makes me so full.

To make matters worse, I'm having sleeping problems. The mattress that I sleep on is so thin that once I lay on it, my ass touches the floor and it gives me back aches while I'm sleeping. Then the pillows that I lay my head on are also thin, literally giving me a pain in the neck.

This is not the end of it. Two mornings ago, I woke up with every joints in my body to be aching in pain. My fingers, my wrists, my ankles, my elbows and even my knees. My mobility is kind of disabled. I grind my teeth in pain as I lay myself on the bed because my knees give way and the only support I derive from to land myself gently down was from my wrists and elbows, which also give way. Dude, what the fuck is happening to me, man?!

What kind of fucking sickness do I have?! Am I going to end up like that previous Maroon 5 drummer whose wrists suffered a breakdown and was unable to drum for life?! I want to play drums, man(This is very important to me okay?). I want to able to withstand the cold in Japan again. I want to be like how I used to be...An active young kid who is able to do everything hip and cool.

But now, I'm like a fucking old man.

Honestly, how can this get any better?

So now you know, but does it show that you understand my situation? Nah..til you experience it, then you'll understand.

Damn my body..fucking piece of useless shit..