Too Long of a Tweet

I haven't had a good sleep in a while. Troubled by the endless thoughts of having nothing to carry on in life. Film director? Haven't written or shot anything lately. Musician? Not talented enough. Girlfriend? Don't even get me started.

At the end of the day, I'm just trying to see that I'm worthwhile, but having accomplished nothing, it infuriates me. I'm cold, wasted and depleted. My self-worth is at an all-time low.

After seeing N with Aiman together really puts things in perspective, about how my life is gonna end up. My friends are all eventually gonna get married in a couple of years, while I struggle to find my voice in this fast-paced and multi-faceted society.

I'm going to be alone. I have already accepted my fate that I'm not worth anyone's dime or time.

Friends have told me I need to get a gap year or so to explore things around me. But I'm too afraid to quit my job, too afraid to lose something of stable income. Too sick to be independent, too sick to move around. Fuck, what the hell can I do now.

Clinging onto music is my last connection to this world. And when I'm sick and tired of it, I may want to off myself.

Having said that, I really dig Charlie's music. It's the last beautiful thing in my life that's keeping my ember alive.