Episode VII

21st June. Journal Entry 7

Love.

I appreciate what Love had brought me all these years. It is a wonderful feeling when I come back home from school because all the pressure from the classmates and teachers are all left at the front door. But of course, gratitude often comes with love. I am truly grateful to my classmates and teachers had given me. A second home in school where everybody is almost as kind and friendly as my family back home.

But no, I didn’t really experience that kind of love in school before. To me, my secondary school life had been quite hellish. Well, blood is thicker than water so I can’t really expect my classmates and teachers to be as forgiving as my parents back home if I messed something up.

As a student trying to survive in school, I met with many setbacks. Not academically but socially. I wasn’t really outcast by my classmates. But I’m the guy who never hangs out with a big group of friends. I had only 3 close friends and that’s all. We’re never stupid enough to break the school rules. The hottest soup we ever got ourselves into was playing poker cards in school and a prefect caught us. Well, it wasn’t that bad.

My classmates and me, we are of polar opposites. I’m the really mellow guy who stands out from the crowd in a while and says “Hi!” then I go back into hiding again. My classmates are all humourous and active. They’ll never fail to tickle the class’ funny bones with their witty jokes. So sometimes I get thrown aside and nobody notices me again. I’m that tragic. Because of our different personalities, most of the time I will never get involved in their fun shenanigans. They usually leave me out. So I fell wayside.

But secondary school wasn’t all that bad. I joined the school military band and that was where I had the most meaningful experience in my life. It wasn’t just experimenting and practising music, I had a lot of fun while doing them with my friends and seniors. I played percussion in the school band but I wasn’t the drummer. More specifically, I’m the person who looks out for the overall sound while my other two friends specialize in drum-set rhythms. So we kind of brought something different for every practices and share among ourselves. We were discovering different sophisticated and awesome at such a young and tender age. Besides, we had to teach our juniors and get scolding from our conductors. All these just bonded us together. Such trust and loyalty are hard to gain but easy to lose. So, they are like my half-brothers.

As the years went by, I learnt to appreciate my classmates for what they are. Well, there can’t be people who are of exact personality and character, right? Though I can’t join in their fun after school but during lessons, I’ll just laugh along with them. My friendship with them is merely platonic and nothing else. Anyway, it’s good enough to be in their presence so I’m grateful for not being rejected for being myself.

Things could have been, you know.