Episode V

4.6.09 Journal Entry 5

I’m a quiet observer of my surroundings.

I like seeing people’s actions and expressions. Because I think it’s like watching a mini movie in real life. No acting required. Everything just happens according to a set of concept: Cause and effect. But what’s most interesting about watching people live their lives is their attitude towards a certain event or situation. Sometimes it’ll be funny to watch them fumble through their mistakes. Some of them are sometimes helpless and I feel sad watching them struggling through.

You may think it’s sick when I say I get my satisfaction from observing people but I beg to differ. As an aspiring movie director, I need a lot of inspiration for the movies I want to make. It could be people of professions, youngsters, working adult or even the elderly. The interaction between people is fascinating. Sometimes when someone said something offensive, people would have different reactions to that comment. Some people frown, some raise their eyebrows, some nose twitching. It’s an interesting sight, for me at least.

Observing people and making friends are two different processes for me. Even sometimes I can’t help but also observe my friends’ every action. Then after that, I form a perception about them. But this won’t cloud or influence my decision in making friends with them. Having said that, there is only one thing that could influence my decision: Their selfishness and self-centeredness.

The process of observing people could be as detailed as drawing out a masterpiece.

First, I will always look at how the person looks. His hair covering his face, what kind of nose he has, lips are thick or thin and other minute details.

Then the next thing to observe is the way he dress himself. Usually a person can be defined by observing his dress code. Whether he’s an old man, or a working adult. This is what I call the unique style of a person. Students, on the other hand, can define their clique groups by the way they dress as well. Though not accurate at all times, but it still proves to a certain extent.

Lastly, is their behaviour. Basically it is a key to understanding their personality and character without actually knowing them. Usually the first impression of them is the fairly accurate deduction of themselves. Why do I think so: Because as humans, when we are with our friends, our true selves tend to flesh out during these moments. Then this is when others will catch a glimpse of our personalities.

However, my mind goes haywire at times. Or rather, situations are always not as they seem like. But my mind always tends to think more than it should. It is always frustrating as well when my personal feelings get in the way of my deduction of one’s personality.

However, observing people is not any kind of hobby. At least not mine. Observing people is something that we all humans are doing right now. They keep shut about how their group member operates through their group project. But when that peer evaluation sheets comes by, people write a lot on what they think about their team members.

And usually the comments are never neutral. They either are positive or negative.

Why? Humans judge, that’s why.