Well, I saw sparks… - Sparks by Coldplay
Currently, this song is stuck in my head whenever I think of that friend who always takes away my breath whenever our eyes are locked on for a few seconds.
I have this habit of looking at the people around me, hoping to myself that they will never see me looking at them. I take longer and more frequent glances at the people whom I know and like better. If they happen to notice my glance, I will always look away.
But all that has changed. Courage took over me and I started to maintain the eye connection with the people around me for a while. It wasn’t hard for me because most of the time we end that connection with a smile.
Then came along this friend. To say she’s an all-right friend would be an understatement because she is so nice, sweet and cool to hang out with. I value this friendship with her very much. I hate it if it’s be ruined by some stupid reason.
So sometimes, I would look to her direction and she would look around and see me looking at her. Those mere few seconds felt like minutes. As time goes by, I begin to see the warmth and comfort behind those alluring eyes of hers.
And it’ll be those eyes that will cause the demise of our friendship. I don’t want that. I don’t want to fall for her and destroy the connection between us. Somehow, I have a tendency to fall in love with girls who are my close friends. I can tell you right now; I really hate myself for doing this torturous thing to myself. Trust me, I’ve been there before and it’s not fun at all. In fact, it’s fucking scary as hell.
So, I got to stop. I really have to stop this…
Jo Yin told me something else, which I, too, agree. Who are we to deny the entrance of Love into our lives? If it happens, just go with the flow and see where that goes.
The thing is, I have a feeling that long-term crushes/loves goes beyond a point of no return for me.
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